May 2019 – Relationships

Part of the reason I like to share my stories is to help others who might be dealing with similar problems. We often feel we may be the only ones in the world struggling like we are and that no one could possibly understand much less be there for us. But this is a lie! If you have anything you want to ask me or talk about, I am here for you. You are not alone in this world and God has a plan for you. But more specifically…

To the one dealing with a toxic friend… It is okay to be a little selfish with your needs and feelings. I was a fiercely loyal friend who overlooked a lot of things because I never wanted to be the person who walked away from a friendship. But that meant I put up with a lot of yelling, betrayal, apathy, and loneliness. Friends are supposed to help you through those things, not cause them. Really assess your situation and if you feel the need to step down from a friendship for your own emotional health, do it. Not all friendships are forever.

To the one dealing with lingering pain from a past friendship… I know it’s hard to forgive and even harder to forget. It is okay to remember the good times of the past, but try not to hang on to the not so great memories. You can’t change what’s been done and you don’t want your past pain to keep invading your present. Instead, let go of resentment and bitterness and look forward to a brighter future with your better friends.

To the one dealing with loneliness… I know it can be hard in the waiting and the wondering. Whether you are lonely for friendship or a relationship, your feelings are valid and understandable. We as a human race are not meant to be alone. We strive for solid relationships and it can be so draining when we don’t have them. All I can say is to have patience and faith that God will provide for you in the right time. Until then, find joy and peace in your current friends and family and find fulfillment in the presence of God.

To the one dealing with heartbreak… I am so sorry. I know exactly how it feels and how much it hurts. It feels like your pain will never end, but trust me, it will. Really think about if your own actions are sustaining the heartbreak for longer than necessary. Burn pictures, throw out t-shirts, unfollow from social media, etc etc. Whatever you have to do to get your ex out of your head will help. I know in some very very rare cases, you can still be friends with your ex, but if you still feel any pain whatsoever from them, I don’t believe this can work. So put on your big girl panties and do what you need to do to mend your mental health.

To the one dealing with a red-flag relationship… Listen to the advice of your friends and family, particularly your parents. Kids tend to think their parents know nothing but this is false. They know what they’re talking about. Listen to your gut and your heart, and if something doesn’t feel right, get out of the relationship. I overlooked a lot of red flags because I was awestruck in love. While we had some good times together, all the red flags came to fruition and my heartbreak was devastating. Don’t let yourself go through that if you don’t have to. Guard your heart and listen to those who care about you. It is better to be single than to be with the wrong person.

To the one dealing with family issues… I know it hurts because your family is supposed to be there for you when no one else is. I’m not even going to pretend to imagine what you are going through, but I will say this. Lean on those friends who you consider family. And really go to God. He is the perfect Father and He will never leave you or forsake you.

To the one struggling with self love and care… You are amazing. You have people in your life who really care about you. You have a God who sent His son to die for you. You are valuable and worthy of love. Tell yourself this every day if you have to. And find little ways to make yourself feel better throughout your day. I know I feel better during my day if I take a little time to plan a cute outfit in the morning. It gives me confidence. Walk with your head held high and take some time to really take care of yourself.

To the one unsure about their relationship with God… I have been there. I have put God on a shelf and have even run away from Him. Just know that He loves you no matter what, and He will always welcome you home with open arms when you run towards Him. He longs to be close to you and pour His love out on you, so just let Him in. He alone will give you pure joy and love and satisfaction in this crazy thing called life.

It was actually really hard for me to go through some of my old relationships, read my old writing, dig up old memories, and have the courage to share them with you. I kept shaking my head at my past self, thinking, if only you knew what God had in store for you. Those relationships were blessin’s and lessons and they brought me to where I am today, happily married to the best guy in the world, surrounded by loving family and friends who are going to be there for me no matter what. I know that you will find the same if you are patient, trusting, and loving to God, yourself, and others.